Nate and I just recently celebrated our 3rd anniversary! Can't believe it's been that long and can't believe all that has happened in our lives in 3 short years. I still feel, every day, that I am the most blessed woman on earth with the man I have been given. That's the truth!!
We celebrated by going out of town for the weekend to Artesian Lakes Resort in Cleveland, TX. It was a nice getaway of peace, quiet, relaxation, and enjoyment of uninterrupted time together. I mean this place is crazy quiet. No televisions, cell phone service (it's out in the boonies), or wi-fi access at all. We couldn't even get the internet on the i-phone! But honestly, we weren't trying too hard, either. It felt good to not have to feel connected to everyone at all times, just enjoying each other's company. I can't even count the number of Yahtzee games we played... me being the master of that game, I might add. :D
We really needed the time away. Our lives were torn apart and thrown upside down when we lost our baby, July 20. I was almost 11 weeks, just a few weeks shy of our 2nd trimester. It's been the hardest thing I've ever faced in my life. I can't describe the pain that it's been, sadness, and turmoil that we've faced mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. As I laid there those 6 days during the actual miscarriage, feeling and waiting for it to be over, I felt so lonely. God has never left me and I know this for sure, but it's such an empty feeling. I still am struggling greatly, and know it takes time. Even months, from lots of things I've read. We're still grieving for lack of a better word, so thus the needed trip away! It was healing, relaxing, and a great time of being able to focus on other things away from home.
It still is difficult. Nate and I both struggle at the most unexpected times, and I'm sure it's normal. I know it will just take time, and the Lord promises to make all things new. We have hope and we know we'll see our little one in Heaven. What a precious thought and truth that we'll see her one day! I often think of why the Lord did this (to us), but a new truth I've been shown is that God allowed this (for the baby). And how blessed this baby was to have a fast track ticket to Heaven, never having to experience the pain of this world.
So it's not necessarily what the Lord did TO us, but what the Lord did FOR our child. It makes it just a tad more bearable and I love that we can trust Him in his promises for our lives. We look forward to the Lord working in our lives through this, if nothing else to be able to know and have sensitivity to others for what it's like to go through this. We anxiously wait for His healing and the truth of his promise of making all things new to be manifested, whether on this earth or with Him one day.
We already scheduled another weekend getaway at the same place this winter, and we're so excited!
