Evelyn 6 months!

Ok, on April 1, she turned 6 months!! HOW is that even possible?? How is my tiny little baby already half a year old?  Time just doesn't slow down, ever, does it?!  I say that because I'm pretty sure we won't have any more babies, and I just want to relish in her baby-ness as long as possible!

She is the most alert and curious baby I have ever seen.  She is just totally enthralled and seems to be connected in such intimate ways to people and her world around her.  I'm floored at her ability to just "get" me, even as such a young little one.  Daughters are truly unique, i'm learning, and I really can't wait to watch her grow into a precious young woman.

Her first bottom tooth came through around 5 and a half months and the 2nd right at about 6 months.  We've been trying some solid food at around the same time she cut her first tooth, but she wasn't a believer!!  Now at the end of her 6th month, she's finally catching on and learning there is some pretty yummy stuff out there to eat!  We're so proud of her!

She's also doing so great on her tummy!  She pushes up all the way on her arms and has started pulling her knees under her, rocking.  I know she's just gonna start crawling any day now!  Can't believe it!  She started sitting by herself at about 6 and a half months and tries to sit up from a laying position.  It's crazy how fast they learn to do things- Luke was not quite as interested in moving as Evelyn, so this is new for us! I have a sneaky feeling that once she does start moving around, she will be much more inquisitive and mischievous with her new-found freedom!!

She sleeps through the night, still and takes 2 naps a day.  Her day starts around 9 in the morning, sometimes a little earlier.  She loves to swing in her little swing outside next to brother's big boy swing.  She loves to take car rides and it usually will put her to sleep.

We seriously just couldn't be more blessed by this little girl in our lives. I tend to say that a lot, but she's just such a sweet addition to our family. We are all loving watching her grow and change and to see how she interacts with the rest of us.  We love you Evelyn!

trying cereal for the first time!

my 2 sweethearts at Easter!

Wagon Ride!

My beautiful gerber girl

they love each other

My sweet Luke

Easter 2014

Things around here lately

To say life has been busy would be an exaggerated understatement.  Since the first of the year, we have had so much happen I could write a book.

The beginning of January (right at new years), I got sick.  Having a 3 month old that you're breastfeeding and 2 other people in the house is really tough when you're sick, not to mention the stress at not wanting your brand new baby to get sick.  I found out a few days into it that it was Flu A.  They wouldn't tell me that it was specifically H1N1, but said it was likely and that 90% of the Flu A strands had been H1N1 this year.  I panicked.  Mostly, for my kids. Nate got sick shortly after me.  We sent Luke to his grandparent's house to hopefully keep him from getting anything from us, but sure enough the following week he got it, also. So the 3 of us were all sick with the flu and all I could do was try against all else to keep Evelyn from getting it.  I cried at the thought of her getting the flu so little. She had just gotten over RSV and I didn't want to imagine what could happen if she got H1N1.  

Anyway, with changing my shirt every time I came into contact with her, wearing a mask for 8 days, continuing to breastfeed, lots of vitamins and supplements, keeping Luke and her separated throughout the day for an entire week, and most of all, God's mercy, she managed to not get sick!!  PRAISE THE LORD!  I couldn't thank Him enough for sparing her the pain of going through that.  It was absolute hell that week, though, trying so hard to keep things sterile and clean with the 3 of us being sick. It was nuts. 

The following week brought work back into my life.  My maternity leave was over, and it was actually kind of nice to get back into the swing of things in that way. Also, to get money flowing in here again..lol.

Something I have dealt with since the day after Evelyn was born (in the hospital) is this weird dizziness.  It's not as if the room is spinning or that I'm like this all the time.  I had an episode of major high blood pressure the day after we brought her home and had to be readmitted to the hospital for 2 days.  They sent me home on a blood pressure prescription, so I assumed it was that.  I gave it 6 weeks to subside, but it didn't, and if anything it got worse.  I tried to think maybe it was the pregnancy hormones and breastfeeding hormones just trying to regulate.  But nothing seemed to help, and it wasn't getting better. I mentioned it to my OBGyn and she didn't have much to say about it.

Finally, in mid November I decided to see 2 specific doctors. I thought that if, God forbid something was wrong, we had maxed out our insurance deductible for the year having Evelyn, so it would be a good time to get it taken care of.  So I saw a cardiologist to look at the palpitations I had been having for the last several years and a neurologist for the dizziness that had just begun and other "strange head sensations" I have had for the last few years.  The cardiologist put me on a 24 hour heart monitor to watch my heart rhythm, did a 2D echo and EKG.  All were normal and he told me I was having anxiety and would "feel better" once I went back to work.  No comment on that.  I saw the neurologist in the same week. They did an EEG and ordered an MRI.  The EEG was normal and I had to wait to get my results of the MRI another month.  That was the soonest they could get me in for a new patient consultation at the end of the year.  So I had a month to wait.

In the mean time, I was wondering if maybe I was slightly anemic or needed my blood pressure meds reassessed.  I'm thinking small things here, anything that might be causing this weird dizzy sensation.  So, since I had time to wait for the MRI results, I decided to see my GP.  I really just wanted him to do a little lab work and talk to me about the blood pressure medications.  When I got in to see him, he did a  quick neuro test and said I was fine.  His next statement to me was to ask "how my anxiety was".  He didn't even entertain any other possibility. Just immediately ruled it as a mental thing and told me pending negative MRI results, I needed to make another appointment to really get my anxiety under control.  Well, of course I'm anxious!!  Something is wrong and I can't figure out what!!  Blah, these doctors!!

So the weeks pass and I never heard a word about my MRI, which means nothing major would be going on.  I went to my follow up appointment at the end of December. Upon my arrival, with Evelyn in tow, the front desk lady told me it would be a 3 hour wait. What? I seriously couldn't wait there that long with a 2 month old.  So, I told her that was impossible and assuming my results were negative, I asked if she could just give me my results, since that was the only reason I was really there.  She looked at me and relented.  She told me both test results were negative so I made another appointment for the end of January, hoping to actually get into see the doctor at that time.  I jetted out of there thankful nothing serious was going on.

Fast forward to the end of January.  I had been working a few weeks, had some pretty weird "episodes" at work that were scaring me.  I just really had no idea what was happening to me, considering all the testing I had done, and nothing was showing anything.  I was concerned something was going on that wouldn't be picked up on an MRI. I was anxious to actually talk to the Dr. and figure something out.  I brought my mom because I was truly a little scared at what she would find.  I also had both kids for this appointment and needed the help. So, we get there, and the front desk lady tells me it will be a 2.5 hour wait. I was appalled.  I told my mom and she persuaded me to just have my records printed out, leave and find another neurologist who cared about her patient's time just a little more.  I was disappointed once again, to not be able to see her, and my mom had taken off of work, also.

We leave and while sitting in the front seat, I decided to give my MRI report a little looksy, myself.  I'm sitting there reading it and it says that I have a Pituitary Tumor and that my pituitary gland was diffusely enlarged.  Excuse me??  Yes, the MRI I had done on November 14.  And Yes, the day I was reading this was January 21.  Not one person thought it was important to let me know I had a positive result on an MRI.  Not 1!  I blurted out my disbelief to my mom, called the office and told them I needed to keep the appointment- we got childcare figured out and went to see the doctor 2 hours later.  She proceeded to tell me I would need surgery and referred me to a neurosurgeon.

Now, prior to all this in, last year, Nate was having some problems of his own with his tonsils and deviated septum. We had decided before Evelyn was born that he would have surgery after the first of the year.  So by the time all this happened, Nate's surgery was already scheduled for mid February. So a few weeks after my diagnosis, Nate had his surgery and was out for about 2 weeks.  We juggled that around my doctor's appointments.  With all this going on, I haven't been able to work.  It also was a double whammy, because we ended up getting my diagnosis after the first of the year, when I originally had planned for any news to happen before the insurance deductible issue rolled over again.  So now we're faced with the expenses of having Evelyn, and now a whole new deductible to meet.  It probably wouldn't be too big of deal usually, but Nate's insurance plan with his company is a high deductible plan, so we're paying a crap load.  Much more than the kind of money Nate and I make to afford.

While Nate was recuperating, during that second week, I began having some major chest pain. Stress I'm sure, but I kept waiting for 4 days for it to subside.  It was really freaking me out, so one night while everyone was asleep, I took myself to a little stand alone ER close to our house.  They did an EKG, blood work and chest xray.  They told me I needed to go back to my cardiologist.  So, now I'm totally stressed something is wrong with my heart in the midst of all this brain stuff.  I got into see my cardiologist right away and he proceeded to tell me my EKG looks like I've had a heart attack.  Are you kidding me?!?!  I totally lost it.  He assured me it was quite possible that it was just "my normal" and wanted to do a stress test to rule out any issues.  So the next week I had a cardiac stress test.  Thankfully all was ok.

One thing that was done was a chest xray at that ER.  For my brain surgery, the pre-op department wanted to do a chest xray. I told them I had one done already, so they asked for the results to be faxed.  I went over there the Friday before my surgery was scheduled.  I got the results printed out and read them in the car.  For some reason this situation keeps happening... but the results showed that everything was normal except for a Pectus Excavatum.  This is something pretty benign but my sternum apparently sinks in further than normal.  This could totally explain my chest pain and funky EKG. But I'll wait to address that at a later date, after all this brain stuff is over.

So, in the saga of time since January 21, I have seen the neurosurgeon downtown that I picked for myself, a neuro-opthalmologist because the original scan said it was touching my optic nerve, endocrinology for the hormones involved, I've had numerous blood works done, a 24 hour urine, another MRI scan and lots of appointments in between, including cardiology drama, and Nate's surgical issues.  We've had meltdowns over our finances, medical bills piling up like nothing else.. It's been so crazy.  My surgery to remove the tumor was originally scheduled for March 27, but I got sick the day before, so it's now moved to April 16.

So that's that!!  I'm praying for the Lord's hand to continue to hold us during this time. It's been really difficult and other things have happened as well that are not really share-able.  It's been a really dark time in our lives and very trying.  We know His hand guides us, but it's not easy to see all the time.  Prayers are appreciated and we will get through this!!!

Evelyn's Birth Story

September 30, 2013
It was the day before Evelyn's c-section.  I couldn't believe we had made it!  This pregnancy had been such a blessing and was relatively easy, just like Luke's.  There were a few issues here and there with heartburn, and I managed to get 2 stomach viruses while being pregnant with her, but most of all, we watched my blood pressure.  I was able to stay away from having to take anything for it, and most of all, I prayed we could carry her until her scheduled date to be born at 39 weeks.

I saw Dr. Westmoreland the previous week, and my blood pressure was a little higher than she would have liked.  It still didn't come close to how high it was with Luke at that time, but I was just grateful to get one more week carrying her.  She actually laughed that I was asking for more time as most women would have jumped at the chance for an early induction.  I begged her to wait until the actual scheduled date and she agreed, as long as I rested over the weekend.  We made it through the weekend and Monday came!  It's the most surreal feeling, knowing your child will be brought into the world the next day.  I couldn't wrap my brain around knowing the change that was about to happen.

My feelings were all over the place.  I was ecstatic to meet our sweet Evelyn, nervous for a 2nd c-section and what the recovery would look like, but mostly that day I was nostalgic for our sweet Luke.  We got to play all day and I spent so much time just loving and hugging on him.  It's really bittersweet to look at  your first born and know it will never be the same!  In so many good ways, but I couldn't help but feel sad at the same time.  He wouldn't be our only baby come this time the next day, and I didn't know how his adjustment to having a new baby in the house would turn out.  I really just wanted to relish in him and have a complete day just about being with him!  We watched movies, played outside, went to lunch at McDonald's, went to the park and both took great naps.  Nate and I packed our bags and made last minute preparations for once we got home.

That night the whole house slept, except for me!  :)  I felt exhausted but energized.  Scared but also peaceful.  Happy and Sad.  Ecstatic, excited, adrenaline crazed, the list could go on and on.  I laid there and watched the clock turn midnight.  I watched it turn October 1.  The hours continued to pass and I continued to lay awake!  I wasn't able to eat or drink anything so nothing along those lines could help.

I tossed in bed forEVER, readjusting the million pillows I had surrounding my body for comfort.  I turned on the TV around 3:00 am getting more and more annoyed that I couldn't get sleep to happen the last night I had before a newborn was entering our house once again.  I watched infomercials.

Around 4:00 a.m. a song popped in my head.  "Some Will Rise" by Ten Thousand Flying.  I've loved this song since I heard it my freshmen year at college at Howard Payne.  I had the CD but managed to lose it in the numerous moves I've had since that time of my life.  I YouTube'd it and didn't really manage to get a good version, so I downloaded the entire album from i-Tunes onto my phone and softly played it next to my head.  It was so comforting. Something about hearing an old album from my past brought up so many memories.  I laid there thinking about those good times at HPU and somehow it brought me peace to catch a few hours of sleep!  I woke around 7:00 am to Nate's alarm sounding and was thankful for the 3 hours I got!

We started getting dressed and got ourselves ready to head to the hospital!

We had to be there at 10:30.  We left around 9:30 and met our family in the pre-op waiting area!

At 10:00 they called us back and immediately wisked Nate and I away.  My dad lead us all in a sweet prayer to start the day off!

The nerves were totally crazy at this point.  I was really unsure what to expect. Luke was born c-section but his was more of an emergent thing from the L&D unit.  This time, I was in the surgical portion of the hospital and was treated more like a surgical patient than a delivery patient.  It was so nice and quiet.  Nobody else was in the entire pre-op unit.  Just me and Nate and my super sweet  nurse.  My blood pressure wasn't too horrible, and that made me feel better too.

She hooked me up to the IV, got the fluids running and we had a few minutes of conversation with the anesthesiologist.  About 1/2 an hour passed from the time we walked in and them wheeling me into the OR suite.

I jumped up on the OR bed and the Anesthesiologist began my spinal.  I was not super excited about that.  With Luke, my pain medication came in the form of an epidural that happened after being in pain from contractions.  At that point, you're not thinking of the needle pain.  This time it was on the forefront of my mind.  I will say the Dr. did a horrible job.  He didn't use any numbing agent and I wanted to scream when he was putting it in.  It finally begin doing its job and they swung me around on the bed to a laying position.  They cleaned my belly area, put in the catheter and within a few minutes Nate was able to come in.  I'm pretty sure my Dr had already started the procedure before Nate even walked in!  Things happened so fast!  Laying there I got extremely nauseated and sick feeling from the spinal.  They tilted the bed and gave me something to smell that had peppermint in it that helped a lot!  Within just a few minutes our little girl was out, and we got to lay our eyes on our sweet baby!!  I couldn't believe we had a girl!! I couldn't get over just how beautiful she was.  I felt like we knew each other right away, an experience I longed for with her.

They cleaned her up, weighed her and they assured me she was NOT going to the need the NICU!  Nate snapped a few pictures of her, and we got to take a family picture of the 3 of us!  Nate and Evelyn left to the recovery area as a laid there while they finished sewing me up.  It was surreal!  I was actually a little jealous Nate was with her and I had to stay in the OR for another 20 minutes..haha. It was good though for him to get that alone time with her!  They finished me up and moved me to the recovery area along with them.

Something I will always love about my memory of that day is the quiet, peacefulness we were able to share just the 3 of us.  We made a decision to let everyone come visit once we were taken to my actual room on the floor, so it was only us 3 while in the recovery room for about an hour or two (not something you get the luxury of on an L&D floor).  We were able to just love on Evelyn and enjoy the serenity and revel at the awesomeness that just happened!  I was so ecstatic and joyful at our experience.  Evelyn was able to nurse right away- something I just prayed and prayed to get to experience this time around.  We cuddled and smiled and just enjoyed the moment.

After a little while, they wheeled me to my room.  The nausea I got with Luke started coming on full force right about that time as well.  It didn't seem as bad and they were able to control it with and IV drip of phenergan.  Our family came in and Luke got to meet his sister for the first time!!  He jumped up on my bed and the 3 of us were able to cuddle. I was so happy to see him again!!

So here she is! Evelyn Louise Young, born October 1, 2013.

 Luke, the morning of!  Ready to be a big brother!!

 Me with my sweet baby boy!!

 She's here!

 Look at those lips!

 My 2 loves!!

Christmas and Evelyn 3 months!

We had a great Christmas this year, being Evelyn's first and Luke's third!  Evelyn seemed to enjoy watching her brother act crazy opening presents and enjoying all the things that day brings.  He's getting so much bigger and able to understand things which made the season this year fun on a whole new level.

We attempted to take Luke to look at Christmas lights.  He seemed to be so enthralled and excited about them any time we would pass some up in the car.  So we figured we would take a drive for that sole purpose alone.  It didn't turn out as fun as expected.  Luke freaked out and was scared of the dark back seat.  Evelyn was just being a typical 2 month old and wanted some attention, so it was sort of a train wreck in the back seat.  We decided to call it quits, ate some dinner at Firehouse Subs where Luke got a nice little spanking in the bathroom for totally acting up, and called it a night!  Oh well, there's always next year..haha.

Evelyn was diagnosed with RSV just before Christmas, and THAT IS NO FUN! (for anyone involved)  We just felt so bad for her being so little.  It was by the grace of God that she didn't get any sicker, and her doctor said most babies that little need to be hospitalized.  She's such a strong, healthy girl and we couldn't have been more blessed.  We did breathing treatments twice a day (definitely not her favorite) and antibiotics for an ear infection she was also fighting at the same time.

I could go on and on with the silliness she brings into this house.  Her little personality is starting to emerge, and it's so fun to watch.  She loves to smile and tries so hard to laugh!  She is getting supplemented with formula at this time but gets mostly breast milk, still.  She is so extremely alert and seems as though she is thinking about things so intently.  She hates to be on her stomach and LOVES. TO. BE. HELD!  I'm ok with that, though.  :) She's trying hard to roll from her back to her front, but has front to back down pat!

She weighed 15 lbs at the doctor's office, but they didn't check the length.

And here are some cute pictures of the last month :)

 Christmas Eve

Luke having some fall fun in the leaves!

Poor sick girl and her pesky breathing treatments!

 Evelyn feeling much better!

Luke with his new Christmas present

Evelyn - 2 months

Evelyn turned 2 months, a few weeks ago.  Seriously, how did that happen?  I will totally admit that I'm having MAJOR bittersweet feelings over this. Yes, I know kids MUST grow up, but it's hard to watch those stages fade away.

This time around, something that has been so precious and sweet is the time I've been given in way of redemption.  Something I'm not shy at admitting about my experience with Luke was my difficulty bonding with him early on.  I didn't have that rosey-colored experience or angelic feeling looking into my child's eyes like I heard about so often. His NICU stay and my post-partum difficulties just left me feeling less than close to him.  It took several months for that to dissipate.  I always felt I missed out on an "experience" that I always hear other moms talk about.  I just didn't have that experience... and I so wanted to know what that was like.

When we found out we were pregnant with Evelyn, I really longed for a different experience. When it was all said and done, we still had a beautiful, sweet, perfect gift in Luke and if it turned out the exact same, it would still be ok.  I just hoped to know of that mother experience- that instant closeness with your tiny baby.

I'm able to say, on this day, that God gave me such a redemptive gift in Evelyn.  I just hoped and hoped to get a specific bonding experience with her right away; not something that I would have to feel as if I'm working for it.  I hoped to be able to carry her just a little longer than Luke, knowing that would help to prevent a NICU stay for her.  I hoped my blood pressure would be happy.  I hoped the breastfeeding experience was going to be easier and less traumatic than with Luke.  I hoped my healing from the C-section would go easier this time around, free from any of the infections I had experienced the first time with Luke.

I can say that God redeemed all of that.  I'm 2 months post-partum, and I'm so closely bonded with this child and have been from day 1. Nursing has been such a blessing and positive experience.  It doesn't come without its difficulties, but overall, I couldn't ask for or imagine a better situation with that.  The Lord protected me from any post-op complications this time and really almost all post surgical pain.  I had to take 1 ibuprofen on a daily basis for about 3 weeks; no narcotic pain medication once I was out of the hospital.  My incision even looks like it did after a much longer time period had passed with Luke.  I just am so grateful.

Evelyn is such a sweet, sweet baby.  She rarely belts out a cry but does more grunting or small little cries here and there. She's beginning to smile, and what a beautiful little smile it is!

She, believe it or not is able to roll. Granted, that was when she was really upset doing some tummy time.  But, go her!  She loves to STAND!  She wants to be up on her feet when you're sitting and holding her.  She has the strongest legs I've ever seen in such a young baby. She nurses at every feeding, and at times I've had to supplement in a bottle when I can't keep up with her.  She's thankfully able to transition to using both, so that makes it easier at times. I think Nate enjoys getting to feed her every now and then, too.

She's sleeping through the night now (thank you Babywise!) for about 8 hours.  She still has some trouble getting to sleep at that last feeding and usually needs to be rocked or soothed to get to that sleepy state.  I believe she has her daddy's night owl habits. :)

She experienced her first Thanksgiving!  She slept most of the time, but it was a lot of fun to show her to family she hasn't met yet!  She also got to meet her brand new cousin, Heidi, born just a few weeks ago.

We can't wait to see what month 3 brings!


laying next to Candy