This time around, something that has been so precious and sweet is the time I've been given in way of redemption. Something I'm not shy at admitting about my experience with Luke was my difficulty bonding with him early on. I didn't have that rosey-colored experience or angelic feeling looking into my child's eyes like I heard about so often. His NICU stay and my post-partum difficulties just left me feeling less than close to him. It took several months for that to dissipate. I always felt I missed out on an "experience" that I always hear other moms talk about. I just didn't have that experience... and I so wanted to know what that was like.
When we found out we were pregnant with Evelyn, I really longed for a different experience. When it was all said and done, we still had a beautiful, sweet, perfect gift in Luke and if it turned out the exact same, it would still be ok. I just hoped to know of that mother experience- that instant closeness with your tiny baby.
I'm able to say, on this day, that God gave me such a redemptive gift in Evelyn. I just hoped and hoped to get a specific bonding experience with her right away; not something that I would have to feel as if I'm working for it. I hoped to be able to carry her just a little longer than Luke, knowing that would help to prevent a NICU stay for her. I hoped my blood pressure would be happy. I hoped the breastfeeding experience was going to be easier and less traumatic than with Luke. I hoped my healing from the C-section would go easier this time around, free from any of the infections I had experienced the first time with Luke.
I can say that God redeemed all of that. I'm 2 months post-partum, and I'm so closely bonded with this child and have been from day 1. Nursing has been such a blessing and positive experience. It doesn't come without its difficulties, but overall, I couldn't ask for or imagine a better situation with that. The Lord protected me from any post-op complications this time and really almost all post surgical pain. I had to take 1 ibuprofen on a daily basis for about 3 weeks; no narcotic pain medication once I was out of the hospital. My incision even looks like it did after a much longer time period had passed with Luke. I just am so grateful.
Evelyn is such a sweet, sweet baby. She rarely belts out a cry but does more grunting or small little cries here and there. She's beginning to smile, and what a beautiful little smile it is!
She, believe it or not is able to roll. Granted, that was when she was really upset doing some tummy time. But, go her! She loves to STAND! She wants to be up on her feet when you're sitting and holding her. She has the strongest legs I've ever seen in such a young baby. She nurses at every feeding, and at times I've had to supplement in a bottle when I can't keep up with her. She's thankfully able to transition to using both, so that makes it easier at times. I think Nate enjoys getting to feed her every now and then, too.
She's sleeping through the night now (thank you Babywise!) for about 8 hours. She still has some trouble getting to sleep at that last feeding and usually needs to be rocked or soothed to get to that sleepy state. I believe she has her daddy's night owl habits. :)
She experienced her first Thanksgiving! She slept most of the time, but it was a lot of fun to show her to family she hasn't met yet! She also got to meet her brand new cousin, Heidi, born just a few weeks ago.
We can't wait to see what month 3 brings!
laying next to Candy
1 comment:
Precious. :-)
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